Left Behind

Category: , By Han Fei
Posted on 19/4/2008

SO many things had happened in the past 4 months, yet I was no longer involved with those events anymore, no, not with them anyway. It was as though I’m getting further and further away from all these related occasions.
Maybe because we’re no longer striving for the same goal, we had REALLY parted ways since then. Those things that we once shared in common were nothing but memories etched quietly in our mind slowly yet surely sinking into our subconscious mind.
That’s why I felt so far away even when I’m just beside them. Maybe I’m the only one that is unconsciously secluding myself from them, after all there’s so much to talk and yet, we don’t talk much when we really and finally have the chance to speak face to face. Just like today, all them see was my darkened expression and bad attitude, or even a shift in personality.
They may felt that I had changed. Maybe I am.
Or maybe they don’t even sense a change.
… …
Maybe I’m not.
Hmph. It doesn’t matter.
The time with you all is now but a part of my Time Chronicles.
That’s Time had passed and That Time’s Chronicle is drawing to an end. In turn a New Time is slowly replacing That Time along with the feelings that I once had when I’m drawn in with That Time’s relationship and interactions. Now when I’m back at those relationships and interactions, I felt something was amiss.
Meeting them all again indeed stirring up those emotions and feeling, but this alone was not enough.


To them maybe I had indeed matured in a way and become darker in both personality and thinking. To be honest the only thing I can feel when I’m with them IS left behind.

When you read you might find this rather depressing and bizarre, but this is the only way I can express thru words here.

Things changed, nothing is forever. I guess that was a part of growing up. An unavoidable plan design by Father Time to all living beings.

Inspiration to write this depressing post
My ex-form 6 classmates were having a gathering/birthday celebration for one of them. I ditched my job and went out to meet with them during my break time.
The time with them was brief, and yet that feeling was strong.