Yeay!
Finally Both of the Chinese Paper(s) over!
Now i can finally dump all those weird and never have the time nor the will to understand chinese words out of my little Brain!

No longer need to think in Chinese, but in Bahasa Malaysia!
*sigh next monday's paper1 Pengajian Am...objective...have start READing them also...

But seriously, this time the chinese paper i'm kinda relieved paper 1 (Essay,ANcient Texts, Grammars, 改写)i manage to finish within 3 hours time limit with 1 or 2 minutes to spare for me to tie up those pages together...

ANd paper2china literature history, amongst those 4 sections i, i mean we manage to spot 2 out the 4 thick 'text books' and i'm so grateful to God that, i did not chose to selectively ignore some of the history facts... that's why i can manage to finish all of the sections! Though not sure whether i answered correctly or not....

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Last nite, i was so scared i kept on studying till from 12 noon to nite, still i manage to made 'some' time for my tv dramas (from 8.00-11.30, cant help it), i went at 12 am, but i can't sleep at all....kinda nervous,when i finally felt asleep i had soem weird dream about speaking english with some foreigners and doing some shopping at some rusted looking alley....

ANd then this morning, IT RAINed!
SO hard to get up from bed...
ANd in school before i walk in to the examination classroom...i slipped and fell on the stair, because of that, i felt pain rather than nervous...

WHen i got the question paper...i was like....brain blank....i need for like 15 minutes to start up my brain engine and start thinking....(that always happen...

Now at home writing this blog, i fell so tired as if that paper just stuck all my life out for this day...

Time to eat and then BED~
Chiao...

Till now my leg still hurts....aiks.....

Aiyaiyai!
STPM is just around the corner!
I feel so weird since i don't feel any fear or anxiety about this World class Exam...
I should be like others...keep studying day and night, night and day...but i did not do so...SIgh...Monday must go to someone house and study away from the worldly distractions!!!!

I just graduate, AGAIN from catholic High SChool,this time, again i did not cry.
I laughed , i smiled. I felt happy able to with them during our graduation ceremony. I'm honoured to be their friends.
I wanted to say that, thank you for making my form 6 life , such a happy and miserable memory.

Hahahahahahaha....
I will upload the photos ASAP once i feel like doing so.

Tell me this, is unrequited love not love?

Some friend of mine who experienced such unrequited love in his childhood told me that this can not be called as 'love'. ANd yet ironically, he in turn caused some to 'admire' him secretly whom he decisively reject.

What is this?!
NOT LOVE?!

This is obscured!
With such words come out from his 'mouth', i couldn't help but feel sympathy to the one who had/have the crush in him.

Could someone here tell me, or better yet, explain to me, is unrequited love is not love?

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They were the same. They are the same. They will be the same.
I couldn’t stand them shouting at her any longer… … but, what can I do?!
Who am I to stop them?!
Why could they just shout up and let her do her stuff, her job in her own way?!
I hate… … I hate… … but I just can’t bring myself to hate them.

Times and times, events such as this keep occurring, they are the same, or similar. And they never stop happening. Since I was small, the other ‘they’ keep shouting at each other, I HATE… but I pretended as if nothing has happening, there no voice, no sound, nothing is happening.

Silence, Tranquility, Nothingness, Emptiness… …

I know I’m bluffing myself, but what can I do?!

Just when other ‘they’ slightly cease to do so, they started another out roar at home!!!
I can’t stand these any longer. I feel as though there was something in my heart, yearning to gush out from this too cramp and yet overly crowded heart and yet it can’t.

I halted it advance, before it could be seen.
I tried to stop them, I couldn’t, I ‘m helpless.

I HATE, I HATE, I HATE!!!!!!!!

Do you think you are the only one with Family Problems?
Think again.

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Find me a hole, then i can hide myself from facing total embarrassment on 28th of December!

How can someone with such healthy mental did such an embarrassment mistake?

Oh my Goodness... ...

How am i to face them?
What should i do?
Oh God!

Help your humble and pathetic servant!!!

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You all know it. You all feel it.

You all are not blind, and I know that clearly.
Though we are not clear of the whole thing but we still know it. It just that we acted as if we don't care, we don't want to bother, but deep down in our hearts we still feel the discomfort and the aches.

It is just like what I feel toward you trio.

I tried to cover these emotions and feelings from surfacing on my face. Try as I might I knew it wouldn't be good enough. Thus, rather than hiding these feelings in such distress, I thought, why don't I just convert these into another form of expression or act? Such as teasing, lame jokes?
I admit, for times I had been overdoing it, I just can't be helped; but sometimes you all did not rebuke me about it, maybe because of the guilt you had for leaving me alone. Just like me, you all can't be helped.

Honestly, now, I barely feel such strong emotion as before, but there is still a tiny pixel thorn in it. Hah! Well, maybe soon enough it will be fade away, but not memories.

Those memories, is still there and will always be apart in my heart no matter what happens maybe they will be pushed aside when time flows by, but they will never diminished or faded.

All those thing that happened in these one and half year, I here by sincerely say thank and sorry.

And one more thing, *you need to highlight the words to read them…
HAPPY LOVING!!!

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Shadows over shadows, layers by layers, masks upon masks; that was their unspoken truce.

They had jokes and talks, they laughed and shared together yet at the same time one of them had to pay attention to the other one’s ever changing mask that was so obvious and yet so hidden at the same time for she was much inferior to the other one.
She had favours that only the other can help.

While the superior one, she tried to go along with the other one, though not as bogus as her. Yes, both of them are of the same kind, though their ways of thinking differ.


It was not long ago, when they were 1st time being that close after the superior one offered a hand for her. While she had been admired the superior one for not so long, for her, the superior one was determined hardworking and surrounding was a sense of sophisticated aura.

But after they been together for this long, she realised… …that the superior one is a hypocrite who is easily offended by almost everything and yet she kept most of these anger in her heart, suppressing them perfectly only to reveal some of these to the inferior one while the inferior one tried all her might to please her.

Pathetic and disgusting they are.


But as time flies, days and months passed by, the superior one started to break away from the initial treaty, she had lose all her patience after witnessing the other side of the inferior one which turned out to be not as inferior as the superior thought she was.

And there she thought that, the inferior one does not know of her intention.
A Fool she was!

A pathetic FOOL!
A disgusting FOOL!
A despicable FOOL!

The inferior one had much large plan at her back, she knew that such day would come, and she had started cease her wants on the superior one, on the other hand secretly gaining her very own supports.

Soon enough that was yesterday, the superior one decided that she did not want to hide all her disgust towards the inferior one. She outburst her anger and acted as if nothing had happened, but she knew deep down that inferior one must have know that she is no longer a friend but as MERE classmates. Then, she dumped her, leaving nothing for her. Yet fortunately her friends helped her, superior one’s plan failed. By this time the inferior one had gained enough supports, still she decided that she would just pretend nothing had happened until… …the final moment.

The final moment where these 2 can finally parted ways as graduates.

That time would be real soon…

Yeay!!!!!!!!

Then I will no longer need to look at her repulsive mask!

Sickening…

Freedom, wait for me... ...i will be by your side soon!
Please wait for me!

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Author’s Notes.

This is a story about 2 hypocrites and one of them is me. Try guessing who the other one is….

Those who know me will understand what I’m trying to say.
Yes, I’m angry! I chose not to show it to that fool!

But soon….*grins evilly…